Monthly Archives: March 2014

The cover up

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It’s a depressive state.
No longer feeling the joy in life
More tears that I cry every night
Get put on meds
Or toughen it out
Head up
Fake a smile
Make it seem your life is all worth wild
Laugh now cry later
Fix your hair
Do your makeup
Friends night out
& don’t dare to talk about
It that’s how you make the pain go out.

Breaking Point

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I was angry. Not angry… Furious. I felt like if I didn’t calm down i would soon explode. I’ve never felt so angry towards anything or anyone in my life. I tried to calm my mentality. But the longer he talked the angrier i got. He thinks he “knows” me but he doesnt know anything about me. Nobody in this world understands me. Except one.. the man im in love with, who doesnt love me back. I need peace. And clarity. A place where i can be and do whatever i want without judgement. I know who i am & i have reasons for the way i act sometimes. Nobody realizes how much im hurting. I tried talking about it & was treated as a joke. So i stopped trying…..why does this have to be so hard? Ive been getting angry & snapping at everyone just about all the time. Im tired of being pushed around, being blamed for everything, feeling unwelcomed & like a idiot. Ive picked up alot pf bad habits in 2013 & i think ive reached my breaking point. Im being selfish unless i choose otherwise. Im going to be rude & a jerk to those who treat me that way. Im going to get mad & go off when im mad & not hold back anymore. Im going to do what i want….when i want & not ask a second opinion about it. Im going to finally live my life the way I want to.